Module Week Six: Point of View

Pitchfork has served as the pre-eminent music taste-maker since its 1995 debut covering artists such as Robert Pollard, Ryan Adams and Broken Social Scene.

It seems everyone tied to the music industry from artists to the label executives themselves visit the site daily to discover the “Next Big Thing.” The site averages more than 160,000 readers per day and more than 1.3 million unique visitors per month (J. Freedom du Lac) coming from these four main groups:

• Music “snobs”
• Record buyers
• College radio stations
• Label music executives

As the site content editor and writer, I will continue to offer content in the form of music reviews, interviews and news briefs all aimed at music buyers in the 18-to-45 year-old age range.

Challenges

The site could be improved in two areas: diversity in music coverage and clearer writing. Pitchfork has catered to indie-guitar rock scene for more than 11 years, but the site lags behind its main rivals, Tiny Mix Tapes and PopMatters in covering folk, hip hop and electronic artists.

Onto another matter. Pitchfork has based its reputation on music reviews, but the editors have endured ridicule and criticism for what its detractors deem as a “narrow view of independent music, favoring lo-fi indie rock over any other genre, and giving undue value to obscurity” (Itzkoff) written in an elitist tone.

An anonymous poster on the online blog, MESH Magazine, said:

“Right on, man. Those pretentious (expletive) are showcasing their liberal arts BA’s more than anything else. The reviews of a lot of the stuff they dump on makes no sense taken in tandem with half the crap on there. One of these replies called you ‘ungrateful’!? What the hell are we supposed to be grateful for? And have you ever seen an independent music site with more (expletive) ad’s than these (expletive)?”

In the East Bay Express, writer Rob Harvilla likened the writing to “a dense, hugely overwritten, utterly incomprehensible brick of critical fruitcake.” (J. Freedom du Lac).

A review of the Metallica album, St. Anger, proves Harvilla’s point:

“A banana spider bit into Ktulu the Mule’s heel. The animal reared. The cart spilled its contents, the CDs and myself, into the dust. A safety cut the electrical field protecting ‘St. Anger.’ As the cart master attempted to rein the bucking animal, I slipped a disc into my overalls.”

Pitchfork does revel in its humor. The staff posted a short video clip of a monkey in response to the Australian band Jet’s latest album, and bloggers and readers approved:

• Oh man, that had me rolling! Finally, a P’Fork review I can understand…
  Keith (08:41 PM on 10.05.06)
• Finally a Pitchfork review that I can actually follow!
  Keith (08:43 PM on 10.05.06)
• Ha! Mike – I didn’t read your comment before I posted mine. I’m glad I’m not the only one. I personally can’t stand their usual reviews.

The site’s content can greatly improve with contributors writing simpler sentences and focusing on principles taught in basic journalism and classes. And the site could be retooled to increase the site’s loading time, which the World Wide Web statistic site Alexa.com, labeled as “very slow” with an average load time of 6.4 seconds.

Articles Cited:

1. Du Lac, Freedom J. “Giving Indie Acts A Plug, or Pulling It Pitchfork Web Site Rises as Rock Arbiter.” The Washington Post. 30 April 2006.
2. Itzkoff, Dave. “The Pitchfork Effect.” Wired. Septemember 2006.

I will create online content using the Associated Press style guide.

Module Week Six: Same Article, New Headline

1. Eight Words:

Homeland Security: Indiana Offers Most Potential Terrorist Targets

2. Six Words:

Top Terrorist Target? Database Cites Indiana.

3. Six-word headline and eight-word subheadline.

Homeland Security Inspector Blasts Anti-Terrorism Database:
Zoos, Flea Markets Among Listed Potential Terrorist Targets.

Module Week Six Assignment: New Headline

Assignment: Rewrite The Headline From Your Writing Sample With This Week’s Module In Mind.

My first headline was sprinkled with a Doomsday sensibility. The new version is a bit more playful and captures the tone of my article much better.

New: Online Communication: Get the Message?

Old: The Demise of Online Communication.

Module Week Six Assignment: Lists

Assignment: Find A Web Article That Could Be Improved With Lists.

Original

Lollapalooza Lineup Announced at SXSW

March 16, 2006

The Red Hot Chili Peppers will help Perry Farrell build his “field of dreams” this summer when they headline the 2006 Lollapalooza festival.

During an early morning press conference in Austin, Tex., at South by Southwest, Perry Farrell announced that the lineup for the 2006 event — which also includes big-name acts like Kanye West, Wilco, Death Cab for Cutie and the Flaming Lips — would feature more than double the bands, two more stages and one more day.

Also included in the lineup are the Raconteurs, Ween, Queens of the Stone Age, Manu Chao, Common, Matisyahu, Sonic Youth, Thievery Corporation, Sleater-Kinney, Broken Social Scene, Blues Traveler, the New Pornographers, the Secret Machines, Panic! at the Disco, She Wants Revenge, Coheed and Cambria, Iron & Wine, the Dresden Dolls, Editors, the Go! Team, Gnarls Barkley, Stars, Hard-Fi, Feist, the Hold Steady, Mates of State, Wolfmother, the Subways, Living Things, Be Your Own Pet, Towers of London, Hot Chip, and a massive list of others.

Having started as a touring festival in 1991, Lollapalooza grounded itself in Chicago for two days last year with a lineup that included headliners the Pixies, as well as bands like the Arcade Fire, Donosaur Jr., the Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, and Brian Jonestown Massacre. This year, the festival will hold its ground once again at Chicago’s Grant Park from August 4-6.

Despite the changes made to the festival in the last two years, including turning it into a “destination festival” rather than a traveling one, Farrell insisted, “We’ve maintained its original heart and soul. With the breathtaking Chicago skyline as our backdrop, we found a perfect location to build our field of dreams.”

Tickets went on sale beginning at 9:00 A.M. today at $130 for a three-day pass.

Edited Version:

The Red Hot Chili Peppers will help Perry Farrell build his “field of dreams” this summer when they headline the 2006 Lollapalooza festival.

During an early morning press conference in Austin, Tex., at South by Southwest, Perry Farrell announced that the lineup for the 2006 event — which also includes big-name acts like Kanye West, Wilco, Death Cab for Cutie and the Flaming Lips — would feature more than double the bands, two more stages and one more day.

The following are just some of the 130 bands scheduled to perform:

• The Raconteurs
• Ween
• Queens of the Stone Age
• Manu Chao
• Common, Matisyahu
• Sonic Youth
• Thievery Corporation
• Sleater-Kinney
• Broken Social Scene
• Blues Traveler

For a complete list, visit the official Lollapalooza Web site.

Having started as a touring festival in 1991, Lollapalooza grounded itself in Chicago for two days last year with a lineup that included headliners the Pixies, as well as bands like the Arcade Fire, Dinosaur Jr., the Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, and Brian Jonestown Massacre. This year, the festival will hold its ground once again at Chicago’s Grant Park from August 4-6.

Despite the changes made to the festival in the last two years, including turning it into a “destination festival” rather than a traveling one, Farrell insisted, “We’ve maintained its original heart and soul. With the breathtaking Chicago skyline as our backdrop, we found a perfect location to build our field of dreams.”

Tickets went on sale beginning at 9 this morning at $130 for a three-day pass.

Module Week Six: Rewriting Poor Headlines

Assignment: Find Three Examples Online of Poor Headlines Used as Links. Note: I have included links to the articles.
Headline: Sprinkle Spruces up Peppers With Mexican Zing
Problem: The alliteration renders this headline hard to comprehend. One must read the headline twice. Possibly offensive. It would best to avoid “Mexican zing” construction.
Solution: Hampstead Resident Revels In Her Cooking Versatility.

Headline: Class 2A-1A District 1 Golf: Carroll’s big day at Black Rock
Problem: The headline is full of abbreviations and the relationship between Carroll and the golf division is unclear. Is Carroll a last name? A school name? A county?
Solution: Carroll County Golf Teams Score Well At District Championships.

Headline: “Assume the position – Tiers of Joy in Competitive Championship.”
Problem: Awkward. Pun is not clever and the headline does not reveal information on the subject. Possibly offensive.
Solution: Retooled Football Division Will Strengthen Championship Format.

Critique of Bluejays.com

The Toronto Blue Jays Official Team Web site

Welcome to the Blue Jays Nest

The official Toronto Blue Jays Web site is one of the 30 official team sites operated by Major League Baseball. Thus, the each site follows the same design template and look asproscribed by the sports organization. The site’s obvious goal is to serve as a marketing tool for the team (season ticket packages and promotions are readily found throughout the site) while offering a smorgasbord of information for the fans.

Keep Them Coming Back: Content

Content is truly king. Just as the team operates in an off-season and on-season mode, the Web site content is updated in a similar fashion.

During a scheduled game, the dominant visual piece is a rectangular box featuring a box score and viewing options. News articles and features rotate every few seconds. The off-season content caters to player profiles, free-agent acquisitions and season highlights.

The main page manages to fill about 80 percent of a 600 x 350 pixel screen with the main visual elements placed at the top of the page. The content is divided into 14 boxes that display information that range from probable pitching matchups to ticket offers.

The masthead showcases the team logo and its marketable stars including pitcher Roy Halladay, closerB.J. Ryan and outfielderVernon Wells immediately catch the visitor’s attention. An expansive navigation bar offering numerous site links can be found below.

The site’s writing is just as compelling as the photos and graphics. The text is crisp and follows good writing conventions such as using short sentences and direct statements. The teams news and game reports are written obviously from a Blue Jays perspective, but avoid the use of “marketingese.”

The archives are robust and offer detailed information for all ardent Blue Jays fans including World Series video highlights to a list of all first-round draft picks.

Recommended Improvements

As Steve Krug, a usability expert said, navigation is not a feature of the Web site, it is the Web site. The Blue Jays home page is really a dense forest sprinkled with hard-to-find markers. The content —the news briefs, photos, charts, icons — are seemingly tightly packed together, thus, creating a cluttered feel. The Web site also suffers from what is seemingly a plethora of ads sprinkled on the more popular pages of the site.

It is not uncommon to find four advertisements from the team sponsors on a post-game story. The team report “Blue Jays roll it up on Red Sox” has four ads from Major League Baseball partners including Century 21 and Holiday Inn.

The goal is now to introduce white space in an effort to lessen the chance of the site visitor feeling overwhelmed. One possible step would be to work with theadvertisers to create a box that would rotate promotional items. Some of the remaining filler content, the polls and some of the team offers, would move to the inside pages.

The changes would also help to improve the look and feel of the navigation bar found across the top of the screen. Currently, the links remain hidden. I would convert the links into navigation tabs and move the search function, found on the bottom of the screen, to the top. Furthermore, I would create a tab to linking MLB.com headlines from the home page and move the Sights and Sounds feature to the multimedia page. For a site with more than 150 pages, the search engine could be expanded at its current location.

Another major concern I have is the download times for visitors using dial-up service. In testing the site, I spent seconds staring at the team logo waiting for the elements to load on my computer. Futhermore, the right-hand Flash video takes too long to appear. I would advocate offering the video, highlighting the team’s memorable plays from the pervious game, as a download.

Despite these criticisms, new content is added daily making the official site of my favorite baseball team since 1987 a daily destination for me.

Online Communication: Get the Message? ;)

“The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.”—Joseph Priestley, English chemist, philosopher, dissenting clergyman and educator.

It was late March and my friend Julie checked her e-mail on the social online network site www.myspace.com and opened her inbox to find this line from an admirer. “how are yo u doing just drop by to let you know have a fabulous smile drop me a line sometime and lets chat if you like,” wrote Marcus, a 26-year-old bachelor from Chapel Hill.

Julie, a journalism doctorate candidate at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, forwarded the message to me before she clicked the deletion key. “Sigh,“ she wrote. “Whatever happened to the days of sitting down and writing a letter––one with proper spelling, capitalization and punctuation?”

Julie should have accepted that Marcus’ e-mail strengthens the argument that online communication standards from e-mail to instant messenger have done more to degrade good writing standards than any misused tool since spray paint.

The World Wide Web has simply shaped many people into an instant gratification society with poor writing habits. Just check the comments posted on myspace.com: discussion boards that read “I luv yer paarely whitte teetth.” instant message chats chock-full of responses like “LOL J” and “OMG. OTFLMHO!,” and, of course, emoticons.

Lost in Translation

This is a problem brewing for years thanks, in part, to society’s emphasis on communicating in the shortest way possible. Think of contractions and the mistakes that can be easily made with their use – ask a copy editor how often they find “its” and “it’s” used incorrectly.

Since people write for the sake of speed, they often overlook the few moments they need to self edit. As a result, the message is often lost in translation since more time is needed for deciphering. Clear and concise writing reads quickly and cleanly.

And these online tools may have improved the way we communicate, but at a great expense. We have simply become lazy writers with no impetus to change. Word processing software and e-mail programs are equipped with a spell-check function, but they often go unused since “Want 2 go out 2nite” is all too common. Here is an example.

Lack of Accountability

Popular Web search engines such as Google and Yahoo! forgive user typos and misspellings during searches. Ultimately the problem stems from a lack of accountability. English teachers and editors demand error-free papers. Employers will be quick to fire employees who fail to realize the difference between “Pubic Relations” and “Public Relations” (I have seen this mistake.)

As for online communication, what punishment could there be for writing sloppy messages? Ridicule? Written admonishment?

All writing, just like a first introduction, is all about making first and lasting impressions. If an employer receives a resume weighed down with misspelled words, broken phrases, inappropriate abbreviations, then the applicant will, at best, receive scant consideration.

Yet, friends overlook sentence faux pas from friends and co-workers and family members unconsciously forgive typos and missteps mentioned in the previous paragraph.

But why?

Shouldn’t all writers uphold the standards of good writing? For my part, I will decide whether to read an e-mail or read a biog. I am not expecting a Jack Kerouac short story when reading some e-mail from a friend. I just want the writer to effectively communicate his or her message. It is a matter of respect for the reader.

In the end writing electronically comes down to a matter of control for the author. As rapper/actor Ice-Cube extolled the virtues of his high school typing class to Men’s Health magazine: “It helped me respect words and how they’re put together. The more you command the language, the better you are.”

It is a lesson Marcus should learn by rewriting his e-mail. Maybe then Julie will respond. LOL.

The demise of online communication. ;)

Newspaper editorial readers would be the readers of this blog.

 

“The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.”—Joseph Priestley.

It was late March and my friend Julie visited the social online network site myspace.com to find a message from an admirer. “how are yo u doing just drop by to let you know have a fabulous smile drop me a line sometime and lets chat if you like,” wrote Marcus, a 26-year-old bachelor from Chapel Hill. Julie, a journalism doctorate candidate at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, forwarded the message to me before she clicked the deletion key. “Sigh,“ she wrote. “Whatever happened to the days of sitting down and writing a letter that is full of proper spelling, capitalization and punctuation?”

Julie should have accepted Marcus’ e-mail strengthens the argument that online communication standards from e-mail to instant messenger have done more to disrupt good writing standards than any tool since the spray can enhanced graffiti. The World Wide Web has simply shaped us into an instant gratification society with poor writing habits. Just check the comments posted on myspace.com. Discussion boards that read “I luv yer peerrly whitte teetth.” Instant message chats chockfull of responses like “LOL J” and “OMG. OTFLMHO!” Emoticons.

This is a problem that has festered for years thanks to society’s emphasis to communicate in the shortest way possible. For instance, the introduction of contractions and the mistakes they induce (ask a copy editor how often they find “its” and “it’s” used incorrectly) have pushed the good writing habits aside for convenience. Typing skills readily need improvement since messages with “whuts” and “ur right” are common. Rapper/actor Ice-Cube extolled the virtues of his high school typing class to Men’s Health magazine: “It helped me respect how words and how they are put together. The more you command the language, the better you are.”

And these online tools of communication may have improved communication, but at a great expense. We have simply become lazy writers with no impetus to change. Word processing software and e-mail programs are equipped with a spell-check function, but they often go unused since “Want 2 go out 2nite” is all too common. Popular Web search engines such as Google and Yahoo! forgive user typos and misspellings during searches. Ultimately the problem stems from a lack of accountability. English teachers and editors demand error-free papers.

 Employers will be quick to fire employees who fail to realize the difference between “Pubic Relations” and “Public Relations” (I have seen this mistake.) Yet, friends overlook sentence missteps from friends and co-workers and family members unconsciously forgive typos. But why? Shouldn’t all writers uphold the standards of good writing? For my part, I will decide whether to read an e-mail or continue to participate in an online chat. I am not expecting a Jack Kerouac short story when reading a blog or opening an e-mail from a friend. I just want the writer to communicate his or her message effectively.

This is Me.

Salut!

I’m Boris and I am a French/Canadian/American citizen and UNC-Chapel Hill journalism graduate living in Durham. Ya Dig?
Let’s see. I embrace my cultural heritage. I am fluent in French–although my fellow countrymen would frown upon my lack of cooking skills. Anyway, I love to stay active and coach basketball in Carrboro, and I am involved with my community as I also tutor adults with reading disabilities.

Really, I’m just trying to make my corner of the world a bit better.

Professionally, I come with a print journalism background with stints at the Carroll County Times in Westminster, Md., and the Triad Business Journal in Greensboro. After exhaustion engulfed me, I sought other avenues to use my writing and reporting skills.

Now I am the Web content editor for the North Carolina Biotechnology Center in Research Triangle Park, N.C. The Biotechnology Center is the world’s first government-sponsored organization developing the biotechnology industry. So there is some distinction in that!!!!

I perform almost every task you can think of from writing news releases to creating new pages to leading tour groups! And my employers were so kind to pay for my Web Master Certificate program classes at North Carolina State University.

Enrolling in “Writing for Digital Media” is part of my master plan to eventually professionally edit an online music publication like Pitchfork. This class will help me to write more Web compelling copy.

Let’s see. Ah, yes. My pet peeves:

• Those who cannot use “well” and “good” correctly.
• The Baltimore Ravens and Oakland Raiders.
• Those who do not say “please” and “thank you.”

Cheers!